Letters
by Irrelevancy
Summary: A homework assignment of conversing in letters is given to our favorite puppyshipping couple. How will that turn out? OneShot Unfortunately, not yaoi. There are hints tho


**Kaiba:**

**Ya know, this stupid mail project is so damn stupid! Why would I want to write a mail to you of all people?! And why the heck did the teacher choose you to be my freakin' partner?! Arg! I wish I'd gotten Yugi...**

**-Jounouchi Katsuya**

Mutt:

Believe me, I'm as unhappy about this as you are. I have better things to do than mail such pointless letters and carry on meaningless conversations with the likes of you. I have a company to run. Next thing tomorrow morning, I'm asking the teacher for out. See? A win-win.

-Kaiba Seto

**Moneybags:**

**DON'T CALL ME MUTT!! I'm not a dog! Good! I need some doing away with ya! As if I don't come to enough contact with you during the freakin' day while saving your company! And what do you mean the "likes of me"?! I'm pretty god damn awesome in my book!**

**-Jounouchi Katsuya**

Idiot:

My point exactly: in YOUR book. To everybody else, you're just the stupid mutt you are. You know, some of us smarter human beings have a business to run, unlike the certain mangy mutt who just sits and hangs around all day with nothing better to do. And do use some proper grammar and existing words.

-Kaiba Seto

**Rich Snob:**

**I'M NOT STUPID! I'm every bit as smart as you are! I just never got a freakin' opportunity to actually oh let's say... TAKE OVER A FREAKIN' COMPANY FROM MY FATHER!! Man! I can't wait until the teacher moves you out!**

**-Jounouchi Katsuya**

Bonkotsu:

Quite unfortunately for both you and I, the teacher says I cannot drop out of this project without losing half my grades. So I'm stuck with this senseless jabbering with YOU of all people. Feel my misery.

-Kaiba Seto

**Rich Idiot:**

**WHAT?!?! HOW COULD SHE?!?! Well why don't you do what you do best?! Use all yer riches to bribe her into letting you drop and still get your grade! This is a waste of time for both you and me! What the heck is the point of this project anyways huh?!**

**-Jounouchi Katsuya**

Mutt:

Listen in class idiot. Even I don't zone out as much as you, no matter how boring and stupid the lesson is. Need I remind you I only go to school for fun?

-Kaiba Seto

**Moneybags:**

**Yeah yeah, save it. I don't care 'bout you and your lil' boredom lessons anyways! Yug and I are too busy savin' the world for that crap! Why don't you just drop out of the school then, if you're so filthy rich and can't give a god damn 'bout your grades! Wait a minute, why do you care about this project anyways?! If you can just drop outta school anytime you want!**

**-Jounouchi Katsuya**

Idiot:

The media cares about the president of an international corporation. If I drop out the moment I was assigned a project, it would appear that I'm running away. So that'll start pointless rumors, which are stupid and senseless, yet people tend to believe everything they hear. I don't want to do this anymore than you do, must I repeat it?

-Kaiba Seto

**Rich Idiot:**

**NO! I never asked ya to repeat it! I have enough of your nonsense from the start! These letters are just pissing me off! I would've ripped the ones from before to shreds, throw it down the drain, and incinerated it long ago! Unfortunately, I hafta turn these in fer a grade!**

**-Jounouchi Katsuya**

Idiot Mutt:

So you do realize these letters will be turned in... So you really are stupid, putting so many spelling and grammar mistakes onto them. The teacher WILL read it you know? Obviously, no.

-Kaiba Seto

**Letter-stealing Moneybag:**

**GIVE ME BACK THOSE LETTERS RIGHT NOW!! You knew this and didn't even tell me! Jerk! Cold-hearted snake! Cruel CEO! If I don't get those back tomorrow I'll make a personal trip to your freakin' mansion before sundown!**

**-Jounouchi Katsuya**

Mutt who's stupider than he looks:

Sure, by all means. Come, as if you could get past the gates.

-Kaiba Seto

**Moneybags:**

**Don't be so smug moneybag! I'll climb over that fence if it means my life!**

**-Jounouchi**

Bonkotsu:

Need I repeat myself? By all means. Let me warn you though, there is a special electric current in there that shocks not your skin, but the muscles behind it.

-Kaiba

**Snobby Jerk:**

**I don't give a damn! I'll wear gloves then! Thick leather gloves! Try me now! Ha!**

**-Jounouchi**

Stupid Idiot:

Well, there are guard dogs behind there. But it probably won't make a difference to you, sine you are of close relation, no?

-Kaiba

**Rich Bastard:**

**Whatever! I'll sock those dogs and knock 'em out! STOP COMPARING ME TO A DOG!! I'll break all your windows!**

**-Jounouchi**

Tangy Mutt:

What's wrong with calling a dog a dog? And if you have any ounce of common sense, you'd know that I live in a very gun-related environment. What kind of an idiot would I be if I didn't even install bullet-proof, not to mention dog-proof windows? Answer? Your kind.

-Kaiba

**Moneybag:**

**That's it! I'm done, through with this! I don't give a god damn about your freakin' life! It's your own choice! I'm turning the letters in today!**

**-Jou**

Bonkotsu:

That would be a wise move, since they ARE due today. Perhaps years of school finally paid off to a... cup of common sense. Maybe not that much. At least you know to turn your work in on time. That I'll give you credit for.

-Kaiba

_Jounouchi, Kaiba:_

_The both of you have received an "A" on this project, for you had fulfilled the objective of "Getting to know one another". Though I must say, the two of you got this done better than I thought you would've. Jounouchi, I thought you would've thrown or burned all these letters by Wednesday. And Kaiba, I'm personally surprised all these are actually handwritten, unlike all the other works you have handed it._

_I am proud of the both of you. But please, you two must stop insulting one another! And Jounouchi... PROPER GRAMMAR!!_

_-Ms. (insert name here)_


End file.
